Short form rules
You understand ZEN METAL is created as a hangout for Sebastyne Alpha’s blog readers (and YouTube channel viewers). If you don’t read or watch yet, you’re welcome to start any time. 🙂
You’re mixing real life with Second Life and trying to find friends and lovers that might make your real life better. While you can seek SL only relationships, we have a strong emphasis on treating SL as an extension to real life… Not a replacement for it. That said, you don’t have to tell anything about your real life until you’re ready, but what you role-play must match what you’d do if the stars aligned, if you were free to be who you wish you were allowed to be. What I don’t want to see happen is anybody pretending to be some sexier, hotter other person with no link to who they are and without any intent to be that in real life. No, you’ll learn that you ARE sexy and hot and you do not need to be anybody else – you just need to understand that NOT EVERYBODY will find you sexy or hot, and that’s OK.
Requirements for a full membership
You are permitted to hang out on ZEN METAL land in a non-committed avatar; however, for a full membership, you’ll have to rock up in a realistic representation of how you look like in real life.
You’ll get a full member status only after you show a realistic mesh avatar that fits our requirements. You must be your own height in a realistically sized avatar shape. If you’re taller than 1.95 as a male, you have to prove it. If you’re taller than 1.75 as a female, you’ll need to prove it. Your avatar also needs to look like you as much as you can help it. (We’ll take your word for it, however.)
As a consequence of the scale used, you’ll probably need to learn how to use your camera better you may also need to set a few presets for your follow camera.
Other than that in short form: You come in and see what happens. You’re permitted to express yourself in any way you wish.
The ZEN METAL purpose for existence.
- ZEN METAL is life coach Sebastyne Alpha’s life simulator. It is built for her blog readers and YouTube viewers as a hangout and a way to explore new aspects of one’s personality in a simulated environment.
- The main purpose of ZEN METAL is to have a fun with self-exploration and finding new relationship aspects and different ways of thinking about relationships and how much we take for granted that we absolutely shouldn’t.
- We study relationship psychology and spirituality as a hobby, and everyone participating will volunteer themselves as a psychological test subject to curious amateurs. We effectively play with each other’s emotions while learning how to give pleasure to others by doing so and learning to eloquently avoid attachments to the wrong people (dating down).
- Be curious to talk to people not only for what you want out of them but to also to prepare to introduce them to someone you think they would love. Play cupid with us! Talk about other people behind their backs, too, in the purpose of matching cool people with cool people.
ZEN METAL Attitude and Goals
- No pretense. Your normal emotions should be quite interesting enough.
- No role-playing. ZEN METAL is about real connections, even if they never wind up reaching real life like we secretly wish they would. Don’t do or say anything you wouldn’t do in real life. (No role-playing doesn’t mean no sex or no emoting. It means you do what you would somewhere you are not, with someone you would do it with (based on your current information about them).)
- Learn to date better. No more manosphere. No more faking things, playing people, and fearing abandonment because ‘you’re the wrong kind.”
- Respect other people’s relationship wishlists, no matter how ridiculous you think it is. It’s what they want. It’s not your business unless you match 100%.
- We do not aim for commitment. We aim for a connection.
- You are not responsible for other people’s commitment issues… Even causing them. If they can’t talk it out and know a manipulator when they encounter one, that’s on them. You cannot build a relationship trusting OTHERS to respect it for them; therefore, owning people is not permitted. You cannot steal what isn’t owned. Everyone, partnered or not, is fair game. It’s their job to say no, not yours to not even tempt them.
- Become aware of people’s relationship problems and avoid getting entangled with them.
- Remain open to completing great connections in real life, but don’t get bullied into it by people who will try to use this rule to wrangle a commitment out of you to prove your compliance. It’s not that important (obviously).
- We protect each other from commitment-obsessed people. We will learn to support each other in their search for the right one, not to push them into lacklustre relationships out of obsession to match every single person to the nearest opposite gender equivalent.
- Please explain yourself, your most lurid fantasies, most romantic wishes, and most impossible deal breakers on ZEN METAL locations both online and on Second Life.
- Learn to recognize when people’s idea of themselves (ego) or their idea of reality gets threatened by what you say to the point they get aggressive with you. Don’t feel bad when someone cannot handle reality… Not for the wrong reasons, at least. Treat “truth” as consistent with reality, not as what your parents or teachers told you to be the truth.
- Aaaand so forth. I aim to make you BRILLIANT at relationships. EVEN IF it means you have to dodge bad entanglements for years to come.
You in Real Life (problems you can and cannot bring with you)
Nothing is a problem – a problem is a lesson, not a problem. The only requirement is a realistically sized and shaped avatar.
Problems that are not problems:
-
- You want to LEARN how to avoid bad relationship outcomes, whatever happens, and to recognize problems before they become problems. This means that the only real reason to kick someone out is that they forgot to wear their realistic avi, and they’re welcome to come back once it’s back on.
- You may have an attachment disorder, commitment phobia, fear of being a disappointment, fear of being annoying, burden, obnoxious, or fear of rejection… You may have high-functioning autism (as far as your shrink thinks). We welcome narcissists, psychopaths, and cunts of all sorts. They’re great learning material. We welcome weirdoes so we can talk behind their backs. You are someone’s weirdo, too, don’t forget.
- You believe you have an inexplicable love connection to someone you’re in love with and believe you belong with, even though you’ve barely spoken or you have only ever met them in spirit. You may be single but unavailable for a commitment to someone other than your soul-bond partner, and you’re still good to come on. (I have some good stuff for you!!)
- If you feel people are trying to coerce you into relationships more than trying to reject you. (Feeling of this is enough, too.)
- You make decisions by feeling, gut instinct, blind trust etc. and can’t explain those things rationally. (This is often abused by narcissists. They know you can’t put your finger on it, and they ask you to ignore your gut because it benefits them when you do. I’ll coach you to figure that out.)
- You might find yourself somewhat of a magnet for same-sex narcissists. If you get a (negative) reaction from narcissistic people of your gender while being chased by the opposite without even trying to either, you’re probably our type of person. 😀
- Basically, are you a person with issues? Yes! You’re our kinda person!
Your Avatar
- Your avatar should represent the real-life you as carefully as you can. You don’t have to wear it outside ZEN METAL land, of course, but for our purposes, yes, you’ll need a realistic avi and an animation override that shows your personality as well as you can find.
- A person should feel that if they like the look of your avatar, they should also like the look of your person. If you truly believe looks don’t matter, you don’t mind showing what you look like.
- You’re allowed to look younger than you are (as long as you look over 18). It seems to be very difficult to get age right on Second Life, especially in the 35-60 bracket. Older skins exist, but the selection becomes very sparse in the middle-aged category. We’ll call it makeup. Attempts to show age are appreciated.
- You must be able to sustain your Second Life personality/body in First Life, too. Be real. Don’t pretend. Don’t role-play. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
- You are allowed to be much richer than you are in reality and flaunt it. (Nobody assumes you’ve got yachts and 15 cars and 5 houses or that you own a city.)
