Sebastyne Alpha's ZEN METAL on Second Life

“When I first heard the term ‘home page’ back in the late 90’s, I imagined the Internet to be what Second Life is. I loved it. I felt disappointed when GeoCities address at Paris Jardin didn’t have cities, homes, nor streets, but I passionately love and loved the Internet regardless. I had to wait a little for it to become the Internet in 3D. That’s Second Life. With cities, homes, and streets.”

Sebastyne Alpha

ZEN METAL is blogger Sebastyne Alpha’s Second Life hangout for her readers. If you don’t read my blogs yet, pick a blog and join in.

ZEN METAL is for looking for friends, dating, and sexual experimentation. I encourage seeking real-life connections. (Stay safe). How far in the world you cast your line is up to you.

You are welcome to “tourist” and “lurk”.

Dresscode: Come as your real self (unless otherwise requested).

Please look as closely to your real-life self as you can achieve with your current skills, funds, and time. This includes your height.

Rules: We are here to learn more about ourselves and people different from us (those weirdoes across the street); therefore, everyone is welcome TO DISAGREE with each other. We will work on our allodoxaphobia (the fear of hearing an opposing opinion or viewpoint) and our doxaphobia (the fear of expressing an opposing opinion or viewpoint). Those are the rules. The objective is NOT TO make others agree with you but to understand why others believe what they believe. Over-heated arguments may be cut by a moderator’s decision to kick and put a temporary ban (cool off period) on the person who seems not to understand the point of this type of conversation… Yet.

OBJECTIVE: Find the right people, the ones who are HONESTLY the same as ourselves in friendship, love, and sex, and let go of those who are not.

Different Venues and Events Have Different Rules

ZEN METAL is not a one-trick pony. Different events, clubs, and venues have different kinks they cater to. Before joining in, check the purpose of the gathering, and know that the rules will be enforced. If you don’t like the rules, you shouldn’t be there.  It will not be fun for a submissive female to be submissive if, let’s say, ball-busting women turn off all the doms who don’t like having their heads bitten off by spiky women. That said, if you’re a soft dom, don’t appear at clubs made for men who are going to fist down their bitches, yes? One of ZEN METAL’s appeals is that I will always endeavour to explain the OTHER PERSPECTIVE – why there will be all these different clubs around!

Newbie tip:

Walk around ZEN METAL Gowers and touch things, pay attention to the Local Chat (object talk), and get your bearings. I’ve tried to make things newbie and loner-friendly, so you can figure things out in peace.

If you are new to Second Life, find instructions here.

We maybe too old for this, sure. We’re mature enough to admit that it is what it is. Whatever has brought you here, we’re in it together. ZEN METAL is for new people, those who never fit in elsewhere until now? Or they always fit in kinda, but never fully? As I said, whatever brought you here, you’re in the right place if you’re into meeting new people.

ZEN METAL Attitude and Goals

Why are we so bad at dating even past a midlife crisis? Modern relationships are supposed to be based on REAL FEELINGS, but we’ve reincarnationally learned to expect “long-lasting” marriages and friendships DESPITE how dysfunctional they were in reality.

REAL relationships take courage. A TON of courage and self-awareness. Comparing marriage statistics from 1950’s to now is comparing apples to oranges. Or onions to oranges. Gen Z has it harder still.

Better attitude. ZEN METAL attitude. New People, New You.

1. No pretense. Your normal emotions should be quite interesting enough. (Scary for you, interesting to others.)
2. No role-playing. ZEN METAL is about real connections, even if they never wind up reaching real life like we secretly wish they would. Don’t do or say anything you wouldn’t do in real life. (No role-playing doesn’t mean no sex or no emoting. It means you do what you would somewhere you are not, with someone you would do it with (based on your current information about them).) Still, we’ll be spending a lot more time talking sex theories than playing animations mimicking them – although don’t get me started on how ridiculously (embarrassingly) effective they are. ;p
3. Become aware of other people’s relationship problems and avoid getting entangled with them.
4. We are here to learn to date better. (So you’re 50 and don’t know how men/women think? Join the club. The club’s here for it.) No more manosphere and revolting pick-up artists. No more faking things, playing people, and fearing abandonment because ‘you’re the wrong kind.” While you may not have all the issues other people have, you’re here to learn what kind of issues other people have. Not knowing what issues other people have is your issue.
5. Respect other people’s relationship wishlists, no matter how ridiculous you think it is. It’s what they want. It’s not your business unless you match 100%.
6. Understand that while you may aim for a commitment, another person may want a connection. If they don’t feel a connection to you, give it time or give up. (If you feel giving it time will obligate them to commit to you eventually, you should definitely give up now.)
7. We protect each other from commitment-obsessed people. We will learn to support each other in their search for the right one, not to push them into lacklustre relationships out of obsession to match every single person to the nearest opposite gender equivalent.
8. Don’t feel pressured to share any intimate details about your sexual life or romantic wishes; feel free to eavesdrop on those who are more relaxed about these things. Don’t speak unless you feel it’s OK for the people present to listen even without them sharing. (Those of you who know my issues on Sebastyne.net telling women to fuck off it – there are things I’m willing to talk with women and anyone at all, and then, there are those things I share with men only. It is up to me, and up to whomever else is sharing, to decide when and how they feel comfortable sharing.)
9. As your idea of self evolves, you can adjust your avatar toward your authentic, true self, the one you’re no longer ashamed that you wish you were and commit to becoming, rather than the one you fear you’re stuck being:

Don’t like yourself and don’t want to be yourself?

The part of you that is ashamed of being what you are is NOT the true you. The one who feels the shame is who you are. If all else fails, at least be proud of being ashamed of the right thing. Whatever you do, don’t be proud of the wrong thing… (If you’re ashamed of being fat, you’re thin, baby!)

If you are proud of having hurt someone, you’re an asshole. If you are ashamed of having hurt someone, you’re not. Your mistakes don’t define you. Your goals do.

No pressure – The One will wait.

Come and get to know people on ZEN METAL so we can get to know each other first and introduce our friends to people we know they’d love!

ZEN METAL is for people who know what they want in romance and are not shy about talking about it. If your standards are high, you probably also respect other people’s high standards… At least you should!

Join us

Join us on Second Life to explore relationships without guilt, pressure, or pretense. Match those who value love the same way. Let’s get to know each other, let’s talk and find out what everyone is looking for themselves, and let’s play Cupid for the friends we make.

ZEN METAL is created for people who come onto Second Life from outside of Second Life. This is why I want to make the experience the way I wish it had been for me and NOT waste time trying to convince my readers that “actually, meter is the same as a yard” or worse, “meter equates to a foot,” while, obviously, neither is true. Instead, I’ve gone through pains to resize everything and to adjust animations to match the furniture. (There are still glitches everywhere, sadly.)

Second Life has enough of a bad reputation in terms of graphics (undeserved, especially after PBR) and the like, and I don’t want to add the “what’s with the giant everything?” into that conversation.

Therefore, pretty please, if you could, as SL veterans, create a realistically sized shape for your avatar and wear it to ZEN METAL locations so I don’t have to explain to my readers what universe you belong in.

Your RL Height = ZEN METAL height

To fit into my scenes perfectly, all you have to do is to change your shape to match your real-life height. Here’s how to achieve an inch-perfect height for your avi.

ZEN METAL Outfits?

I encourage you to create at least one “everyday real you” outfit, and it would be more fun if your wardrobe consisted of things you’d wear to places like a formal dance or a club or at home. Save outfits with a ZM prefix; it’ll stay at the bottom, out of your way.

If you already dress as yourself on Second Life but are 7 feet tall, simply create a second version of your SHAPE and switch into it as you come onto ZEN METAL land. All rigged outfit parts should scale automatically, unrigged parts may need to be removed from your ZM version or another smaller copy made out of them.

ZenMetal.club

This blog, right here, is about Second Life, relationships on Second Life, and the lessons to be learned on Second Life and how they relate to the real world.

Sebastyne.com

I blog for celebrities here. I’m not sure a single one is reading, but that’s no reason not to write, is it? 😀

Sebastyne.net

I’ve had my blog at Sebastyne.net since 2001. It has gone through a lot of changes, but has always been a place for me to speak my mind the way I think. It started out of frustration of feeling unable to speak freely in my real life, and that’s what it’s always been ever since. It was anonymous from the start, but now my friends call me Sebastyne or some short form of it – the friends I made on a site where I decided to let the venom out.

Sebastyne.net started from frustrations about men and how bad they were at picking up women, really, and now, it’s pretty much the opposite. Still, I’ve got some tips to share, but the tone has changed.

Currently, Sebastyne.net is divided into 3 sections: the classic about me and men, for men, the dating & relationships blog for men, and one for women.